From Weapon to Woman
by Noa Qep
Summary: She had to stay calm. She had to stay focused. Her job mattered more than her feelings. ...What were her feelings, anyway? Zack x Cissnei.


Her eyelids lowered, concealing her light-brown eyes. That was the only sign of sadness she was allowed to show, despite the despondent feelings she wished to express. She had to hold them all in, no matter what happened. No matter how she felt, she had to be strong.

She had to be…

**X**

Zack.

Zack Fair.

"Cissnei!"

She looked up.

It was one of their missions together. When they'd been in Gongaga. His hometown. She should've felt awkward, intruding in on his hometown. She didn't, though—it was a mission. Nothing more.

"We'd better get going. We've finally got a lead."

"Right," she nodded, his parents' words searing into her train of thought:

"_We hope Zack's happy with you."_

She was used to being disregarded, feared, or hated for being a Turk. When she told his parents what she was, though, and why she was there, they had only smiled. Of course he would have such open-minded (or _naïve_) parents with kind smiles. Even if they were fake smiles, they at least warmed her eyes upon seeing them. They had the wrong impression, though. They had mistaken her for Zack's girlfriend.

Which she wasn't.

No matter how much she hoped…

**X**

He's a traitor.

He's a wanted person.

He's the victim now.

He's…

He's…

**X**

"Cissnei…"

"He is…if I'm not mistaken, he's the other one who also escaped with you."

"Why did you have to come here? Didn't I tell you to not follow us?"

"He doesn't look very good. What happened?"

"Mako poisoning, and it's quite serious."

"…It's because of the experiments, isn't it?"

"…Yeah…"

_What should I do? My job? Or…_

"Hey!"

"Tseng, the targets have escaped."

_Of course he's surprised. _I'm _surprised. But, he's…_

"That's how it is. So, get it together and escape."

"Cissnei…thank you."

"I have a present for you. I believe in you, so please accept this."

_Keys to the new bike. …Of course, he'll accept them. He needs to escape as fast as possible. He'll forget me. I know it. Just walk away. Forget him. That's all you need to do. You've done all you could. You've…_

"Cissnei…"

_No…I can't stop…I can't… I need to keep going._

_Don't do that. You've got a girlfriend. That Aerith girl. She's fragile—she'll fall apart if she knows what you're doing._

_Stop…no…please…think of Cloud…think of Aerith…think of your own safety. Don't think of me._

_Zack…_

**X**

She walked away quickly, away from the cliff. Zack would know why. She was ashamed. He already had a girlfriend. So…why had they…?

She wiped her mouth first with the sleeve of her somewhat-dusty suit. She then proceeded to rub her cheeks, then her neck. Everywhere he had been, she had to get cleaned. She needed to take a shower. A bath. Something to get rid of this…feeling.

She looked up to the sky, smoothing her hair. She loved looking at the sky, and she envied Reno for being a helicopter pilot. Maybe she should take up becoming a pilot. That would be a good idea. She always wanted to fly. To be free.

_I'm free when I'm with him._

**X**

"Zack Fair is dead."

She expected as much.

Once she got what she wanted, it was always taken away from her. That's why she was no longer selfish, no longer wanted anything. All she wanted was to be left alone.

Of course, that could never be, could it?

**X**

"What'll you do, Cissnei?"

Investigation Sector of the General Affairs Department had strict rules about this sort of thing. Of course Tseng would be cross.

"I will…raise the child on my own accord," she answered.

"You will not be able to return to work for quite a while due to having a child. Are you sure about this?" Tseng inquired.

"…Yes. It is the only thing I'll have from him. The one thing…"

_The one thing I'll have and she won't._

"Fine, then. I expect a complete resignation. And…updates on your well-being."

"Thank you, sir." She bowed respectfully.

She couldn't help smirking as she left the room. She had something to treasure, then, a reason to live.

_Something I'll have and she won't._

**X**

"You're a girl, after all, Cissnei."

"And what does _that _mean, Reno?"

"Means what it means," he replied with a shrug.

She had confided in Tseng about her predicament, and, of course, Reno had to find out. He was second-in-command, after all. He would inevitably find out anything that had to do with a member.

"You're actually quitting the job for it?" he scoffed.

She nodded. "It's the only thing I'll have from him…" _That she won't._

"Sheesh. It won't exactly be as wonderful as you think it'll be. Kids can be total jerks—don't let their innocent guile fool you."

She giggled. "You know the word 'guile'?"

"Gimme some credit here," he whined.

"…Reno, you'll never understand until you fall in love. You meet that one person, and it…it feels…"

"_Like fireworks and unicorns and rainbows and butterflies and pretty pretty clouds!" _he cooed, hugging himself and bursting out into laughter afterwards.

"You make fun of it, but it's really great. You _will _meet that person, Reno. Don't act like you're immune to it," she foretold.

"Pfft. Yeah, right! C'mon, girls are nothing but hassle. Better to just share the bed a night or two than share your life," he said, starting to walk away.

Cissnei could only shake her head. He'd understand someday. Maybe not in the near future, but sometime. She set her hands over her lower stomach.

"Maybe…" she whispered. She left her trail of thought behind her as she walked out of the building on her last day of work.

**X**

"Alen! Alen! Get back here! Alen!"

His laughter could be heard throughout the complex.

"I'm sorry—I-I'm sorry," Cissnei panicked, chasing after her three-year-old son.

"Ha ha ha!" his merry laughter bounced through the building, as he ran with his toy helicopter.

"Alen! You get back here right this minute!" Cissnei ordered, her shoulder-length hair flying behind her as she chased after him.

"Ohh, dear. The young Fair again, eh?" one of the ladies chuckled, peeking out from her apartment at the family.

"Alen! No! Don't go down the stairs! Get away from the staircase!" Cissnei shouted, catching up to her son and picking him up.

His feathered black hair, styled much like his father's when he was younger, tickled her cheek. His attention stayed focused on his helicopter, which he raised high and low with his thin arms. His laughter didn't stop even though he'd been captured.

"I swear, he has secret reserves of energy," she laughed to her neighbor, who agreed.

"He's cute, so he can get away with such things," the neighbor said, patting the young boy's cheek.

The child gazed up at his mother. His eyes were a beautiful, deep ultramarine with flecks of umber and auburn around the rims of his irises.

"Mommy! Mommy! I wanted to fly! I wanted to fly!" Alen cheered, raising his helicopter up high.

"Of course, of course," she played along, saying goodbye to the kindred lady.

"Can Uncle Reno take me up in his helicopter again? Can he? Can he?" Alen asked jovially, looking up with sheer delight and anticipation.

"Perhaps. We need to see if he's too busy, though," she answered.

"Aww, I hope he's not! Hey, hey! When will his baby be born? Will he be like me?" Alen asked excitedly.

"Ooo, I hope not. We already have enough trouble with one of you!" Cissnei teased, opening the door to the Shin-Ra apartment Tseng had given her. She had had nowhere to live. Her work had been her life. She would crash on the couch or in the lobby if she needed sleep, but otherwise, she had had no need for a house. Until, of course, her son had been born.

Reno had fortunately been a father-figure to her son. Despite his complaints about children and his refusal to help out with anything involving his baby life, he had been a good form of entertainment for Alen. Cissnei had every right to be grateful to him for babysitting her son. Reno had recently found a girl and bothered to settle down gradually. He refuted any chance of becoming one of those "Mr. Moms", but she wouldn't be surprised if he would be a doting dad.

"Hey…Mommy?" Alen spoke.

"Hm?" Cissnei said, setting her son down on the floor and getting ready to start dinner.

"…I love you," he said, bashful and sincere.

She was always caught off-guard when she heard the words she had never heard from anyone else before. They were still foreign to her, and she couldn't believe the power they had.

"…I love you, too," she replied, giving him a light kiss on the forehead. She wasn't sure why those words felt so correct when she still didn't understand them entirely, but she didn't feel like a liar when she said them. "Now, go get ready for dinner," she instructed her son with a pat on the head.

With a carefree laugh and a hop in his step, Alen headed off into the bathroom. Cissnei gazed in the direction he had left. She no longer felt like keeping her child only out of the pride of having something Aerith never would. She felt another feeling, one purer and better to feel.

She felt a mother's love.

| XD | D8 | 8D | DX |

I _really _don't like the way I ended this. I was thinking of ending it funny, or romantic, but no, I ended it fuzzy. Pfffft, oh well. I wrote this because there should be more Zack x Cissnei luv, and I always wondered what happened to Cissnei after Crisis Core. This was…the only logical reason I could come up with that I could fit into a fanfiction. Sorry, no lemon. I was thinking of putting that in here, but…it just felt wrong. So, ta-da~ And, yeah, stuff happened to Reno. xD But, that's another story~


End file.
